This site is passionately dedicated to you, Abc Dude. You have a dumb, dumb name.
Let this also be a warning to you -- stupidity gravitates towards stupidity. You have a dumb name, thus you are all the more likely to do dumb things. Below are some examples of others with the name "Abc Dude" that we've seen in action. What makes your name just so stupid? Let us count the ways: Abc was actually Adolf Hitler's birth name. Statistically, boys with the name Abc have a 73% greater chance of getting beat up at school by other boys. Dude sounds the same as the Mandarin Chinese for the phrase "garbage monkey". Abc rhymes with "scrabc", which just sounds stupid. Abc is difficult to spell phonetically. In many offices in the U.S. and Great Britain, "dude" is slang for "pointless" or "waste of time". "I have a dude report to write." (Alternatively: "How was the meeting, you ask? Let's just say it was catered by dude.") Abc is an expletive among many rednecks. I.E., "That's a load of abc." Bozo the Clown, in choosing his name, almost opted for Abc Dude the Clown, but wisely chose something less offensive. The medical procedure known as a dudeectomy is a type of lobotomy. Sign language for "Abc Dude" is the extended middle finger, the hand rotating at the wrist while pointing at the head. The body piercing known simply as a "Abc" involves drill bits and a soldering iron. There are no Mensa members with the name Abc Dude. I mean, obviously. Abc Dude sounds remarkably close to the Farsi for "plays with excrement." In the last 50 years, there have been more bankruptcies filed under the name Abc Dude than have been filed by all Amway members. The boy on the playground that told me about the birds and the bees was named Abc Dude. And man, he was WAY off. Ask most bartenders for a "Abc Dude", and they'll tell you they're not "that" kind of bar. Directors who want to remain anonymous after creating a terrible film are credited simply as Mr./Mrs. Dude. Every member of the 1980s band The Abc Dudes has been arrested -- on separate occasions -- for assaulting an elderly person. Michael Moore credits a certain Abc Dude for his/her fashion and grooming advice.
The Big Tobacco executive who first thought of targeting children for future cigarette sales was named Dude Abc. No, not exactly your name, but pretty close. This is our intervention, Abc. You can legally get your name changed, and, frankly, we hope you do. Not just for yourself, but for the betterment of humanity. Your friends have dumb names, too. Generate the link here: First name: Last name: Link: |